I think I'm such a softie sometimes... I thought I was tough after going through much... But sometimes some things can just easily make me cry. I don't think it has very much to do with my hormones or mood swings.. really.. But more to knowing that I am in a helpless situation where I know I must do something but I don't know how.. be it for myself.. or for others.. And whenever I see a fight (physically), i'll just cling on to anyone beside me.. except for strangers la.. Ya.. involuntary action.. Maybe I should get out of my well and adapt more to this corrupted world..

I made a new friend
His name was Joel
It was not planned
But it turned out well

Haha ya I was mugging with my friend yesterday for bio paper today.. we were discussing and suddenly this guy on the next table turned to us and asked if we need any help.. Before that I saw him looking at our direction quite a few times.. But I was shocked when he suddenly spoke to us.. My heart literally jumpped a little.. But he was really nice, very helpful. We asked him about some Bio stuff, man, he knew a lot. Later we talked a little and found out that he is in NUS yr 3 AND! he was an old boy in JJ. Haha.. COol right? I was touched erm no.. moved.. erm.. surprised maybe, that he even stayed with us till 11:30 to help us. Wah good samaritan. PTL. =)

Haha.. JC life is mei hua shuo. Well, there are fun times too.. maybe in the ratio 1:5. It's common once in a while to hear people talking about quitting and going Poly.. Ya especially after some demoralizing tests.. Teachers are rushing through the topics like a police chasing after a thief.. Makes me wonder if they are really imparting knowledge or merely accomplishing their tasks and and meeting their datelines. My classmate once said "The teachers can just give us the lecture notes and we can just study at home." Hey, I think that's a good idea. =) Not everyone can flow with the school system and each has their own ways they know best for themselves. Ya if only the system can be a little more flexible.. Anyway, I don't think poly life is a bed of roses too. Has tons of projects I heard. Either route is mei hua shuo.. I think it's all in your mind, your attitude. How you perceive the circumstances in your life.. Actually, I really like learning a lot.. Give me a book and I'll lock myself at home, willingly. But the thing is.. Right now, reading something out of the topics taught in school is like wasting time. You'd rather read up your boring notes because you are guaranteed that it's gonna be useful in some ways, some day.. How dreadful. It creates a boundary to education. But well, that's the way it is. And not forgetting sleep, it's like what most of us lack now.. People are sleeping less than 5 hours or not sleeping altogether.. Ya common case in my school.. This questions the essence of education.. Haha.. i realise I sound so gloomy.. Haha.. True la. Don't wanna be a hypocrite.. haha.. But well, it's always comforting to know that at the end of the day, God has already drawn out the paths that I should trek on, so if I follow His map, I'm 100% sure I won't be led to somewhere depressing.. haha.. What an adventure huh? Uncertain of what you'll face on your journey but certain that at the end it'll be worthwhile following that map faithfully. Haha.. Praise the Lord! =)

<>

FLipping through the newspaper.. I felt sick in my stomach. With news of beheading becoming more rampant.. i thought "Oh no.. Will this become a trend for the terrorists?" Erm.. It seems like the case now... I think, things would be a little better if the reporters would just shut up or rather keep quiet and stop photographing the already-distraughted families of the late... Can't they be a little more sensitive to the feelings of these families? Argh.. Disgusted. No idea why i'm feeling so strongly about this whole matter.. I won't be able to do much anyway, this is just a piece of my mind... Think i should end here before say anything else... Zz..

Be of Good Cheer

<Be of Good Cheer>

People make mistakes,
Some grave, some minor.
But turn it around,
There's a lesson to be learnt.

People need people,
To be scolded and be told.
Be thankful,
for the chance to grow.

Most importantly,
Smile!
Knowing you have gone another mile.

3 days of Youth Conference have zoomed by and it was phenomenal! Not only did I gained more knowledge about God, I experienced Him for myself! His presence was so tangible in the place (we serve a LIVING God, Amen?!) there was an atmosphere of jubliee and celebration and everyone was jumping and praising God like there's no tomorrow. No one seemed to be bothered about the tiny space we had or how sweaty we were.. nothing was gonna stop us from praising God! Ya a few droplets of perspiration or a few bumps on the feet is peanut compared to the pierced hands and bloody mesh of flesh of Jesus. I was really blessed by Pst Kong's message too. I remembered him saying: what is the 70 years on earth compared to the ETERNAL life you're going to have in heaven? I'm now more aware of the things I do now, whether it's productive or glorifying in the kingdom of God. Praise the Lord..

On the third day of the conference, God told me to bring revival to JJ.. by gathering all fellow city havesters in JJ and pray together.. if not, there will not be another thing like this. I felt really honoured that God is using me to do great works for Him and I think that if I don't obey Him, I'd feel remorseful and guilty for the rest of my life. Even though I'm only staying for approximately a year and a few months more in JJ, I believe that with the help of God, I'll be able to make a difference there.
Right now we have a strength of 13 and a teacher who is a CGL, and i'm sure more will be added after this EMERGE Conference. Praise the Lord! (in advance. =P)

Oh ya I'm bring 2 friends for service tmr! PTL! I reached out to this ex-classmate of mine previously, and he told me that he was not interested in 'church stuff'.. but PTL, he SMSed me just now and asked if he could go for 'tmr thing' and if he could bring his friend along too. I was more than happy of course. God's presence draw people to him ya? =) And a few moments ago, my father gave me 10 bucks, which was exactly the same amount I sowed to God earlier tonight.. Remarkable. God is always a man of His word. Hallelujah! =)

<Calories Are My Friends>


Dedicated to chocolates and ice cream, which have sweetened up my life.

Health-hazard and Inch-adder
An outcast in the healthy food kingdom
Discriminated and misjudged
My heart goes out for you
For you have a hidden personality
That's oh so sweet and pleasant
So let's be friends!
Just you and me.

<Thank You For the Smile I Wear>


To all my friends who have pierced a ray of light into my otherwise dark, still life.

Haha, Hehe, Hoho
Trademark when I'm with you.
Yellow, orange, red
Colours you splash me with.
Love, peace, joy
Invaluable gifts from you.
Tears, pain, sorrows
You are here with me.
Blessed, bLeSsEd and BLESSED
Is what I am!

< From the Deepest Bottom of My Heart >


This is for Brother Jeff, someone who has touched my life.


Like a nicely wrapped gift presented by God,
I received you with wide opened arms.
Never did i know the greatness in store for me.

Like an angel sent down by God,
You erased every grey patches of my life,
And painted it with sunshine and rainbows.

Like a teacher anointed by God,
You opened my eyes to things previously unseen,
And fed me with knowledge out of the scope of textbooks.

My heart rejoiced at the thought of you,
And for a moment,
i felt most special.

< To Laugh or To Cry >


School work is like a thistle rolling on the desert floor.
Little as it may seems at first,
but as the wind blows stronger,
the magnitude of it is astonishing.
However when the wind stops,
the thistle stops too.
For it is the wind that keeps it moving.

JJ roCks! After the orientation camp my perspective of JJ took a dramatic 180 degrees rotation! The thing that left me with the deepest impression was not the games.. not the cheers nor dances.. but the PEOPLE! Everyone was so amiable and erm.. (lost for words) simply nice. Not implying that the rest of the events were bad.. they were GREAT! Cheering took up quite a big portion of the whole camp and the dances stirred the entire contingent into a wild frenzy. Even those seemingly shy and introvert kind of people joined in! That's the JJ spirit! haha.. To end it all, we had a mass dance again and more cheers! HAha.. That day, everyone left JJ.. forgetting we were once strangers.


To backtrack a little, our zone had a combined cell group meeting on thursday.. and i was to share my testimony. haha was really excited about that! When Sis Jerblinn announced for me to go up on stage, i went.Till then everything was fine.. BUT when Sis MingHui handed the mic over to me.. i quavered a little.. i was like.. "this soft-spoken and a-bit-lack-of-confidence-when-speaking girl is going to speak to 100+ people!" Before that i could visualise myself speaking everything so nicely.. but reality was so different! With trembling hand, i took the mic from Sis MingHui.. and.. for-some biological-reason my throat was suddenly so dry. I tried to speak.. but no words came out.. haha horrible experience.. but anyway, when i finally uttered some words out.. they were all-the-words-you-can-find-in-the-thesaurus-under-the-word-"shaky".. For a moment i thought that whole chunk of words were never to be read out by me.. Some commented that i sounded like i was crying. haha.. GOSH. But thank God that was only the introduction of what i was to convey.. I tried to put away my fears and focus on what i was going to say.. As i gained 'momentum', everything just flowed out as it was during the rehearsals.. And I went on and on and on.. However when i was speaking, i knew just then that it was the Holy Spirit speaking through me and helping me through. Praise the Lord! For if it wasn't for the Holy Spirit, i think I'd be standing there, shaking and stuttering even more.. and Sis MingHui would just snatch the paper and mic away from me and read it for me, and left me standing there watching her.. haha.. Imagination went wild. but the idea is there lah. Thank God she didn't have to do that.. haha.. That was a traumatic but a really special experience for me. So glad that i was able to share about the marvellous works that God has done in my life! =) Hallelujah!

Schooling is coOl

Woo! Today's my first day of school (in 4 mths) in JJ!! It was FUN! Well, not as bad as i thought.. =P Starting to fall in love with it! The JJ's spirit rOcks! Everything in it was so nice! The people.. the cheers.. the dances!(except the food la =P) But good! Keeps me in shape.. =) Can't wait for the 3-day orientation camp on thursday!! haha.. Praise the Lord! A lot of my ex-classmates were there also! So loved. haha..
Anyway, i couldn't sleep last night.. tossed and turned.. suddenly had an inspiration to write a poem.. haha.. and it was like 2++am. Aileen always does weird things. Okie, decided to put it up. =) Here's how it goes..
---------------------------------------------
To God,
When secrets and lies surround me,
I was depressed and yes, frustrated.
Then You came into my mind
And made them seem so small,
For Your magnificance loomed over them.
Shadowing them, You reminded me
That i can be more than a conqueror,
Through You who strengthen me.
---------------------------------------------
Ya Amen! For we are weak but You are strong! For we are small but You are big! Hallelujah!

JJC - My future school

Just woke up, and went to check my posting.. admitted to Jurong JC haha.. well, has its pros and cons.. It's near my house, a lot of friends over there.. but the uniform is..okie la average. So vain rite.. =P Okie, but anyway, God has led me here and i believe there're more to come! Very excited to go there too! Remember months ago, i can't even get into Kampong JC. But by God's grace i have had a chance to go SAJC just that the whole cohort is doing really well this year.. so the competition is really strong. But nevertheless, i believe that there's a reason for everything. God wants to use me, over there, to make a difference! So i'm really excited (in advance) for all the works that God is going to work through me! =) Praise the Lord!

Wonderful wonderful..

Today! I was really impacted by the preaching! I've learnt that everything i do will be recorded by God and I'll be judged according to what the book has recorded.. This hit me right into my heart! It'll be scary to look at a book thickened with all your bad deeds and i think the first question you'll ask yrself is "Was i really that bad?!" Oh no.. hate to imagine that scenerio.. okie! so from now on.. I'm gonna be a nicer fellow! One who is more sensitive to the Holy Spirit and my environment.. Well, i may not be one YET but i know i'm progressing on the right track with the guidance of the Holy Spirit! So looking forward to the marvellous things i'm going to do! I'm not trying to brag becos everything i do is not by my own might but by God's! So in future if i do anything miraculously good, it's just God working through me! All glory to Him! =)

kai mu dian li =)

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HAHA so amazing! OKie! finally set my heart to creating this thingy.. HAHA.. yea! will be sharing some of my innermost (or innermore if there's such a word =P) thoughts, my life, my God, and everything else.. and of cos some will be censored due to privacy reasons ;) okie! that's all for now! smile! =)